Ephesians: In the Heavenly Realms

Childen Obey Your Parents

Ephesians 6:1-4

– The Bible Teacher's Commentary –

Paul J. Bucknell

Ephesians 6:2-3 ~ "B) Obedience brings profit" is part 3 of 5 of The Bible Teacher's Commentary series on Ephesians 6:1-4 which shows the wonderful blessings that accompanies the compliant child. This is God's promise. Bible Study Questions are provided at the end of the series.

B) Obedience brings profit (Ephesians 6:2-3)

“That it may be well with you”

Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3 that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth (Ephesians 6:2-3; Exodus 20:12; Deuteronomy 5:16).

The Ten Commandments

Have you noticed that verse two is part of the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20, Deuteronomy 5)? Perhaps one thing we observe from these verses is that Paul is speaking from some familiar verses. Ten Commandments tables Exodus 20, Deuteronomy 5Some Bible versions capitalizes the Old Testament quotes such as the NASB, others do not, but verses 2-3 are from a part of the Bible that most people are familiar with– the Ten Commandments.

In an attempt to rebel from God’s constraints on their lives, modernists have been trying to eliminate the presence of the Ten Commandments from courtrooms and educational buildings. Whether the plagues are there or not, does not really matter for God still uses them to rule the nations. The importance of these laws is seen by how God actually wrote them twice on stones. Paul mentions that they are the first command with a promise. The other commands had no promise attached to them. They were simple prohibitions. But this one did. This is very significant. Again, it reminds us of how important this one command is.

The promise is, “that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth” (Ephesians 6:2-3). Does it not mean that without this obedience that things will not be well with you? Certainly it does. If by compliance to what God says here, blessing comes, then certainly we are to draw the conclusion that there is no assurance of blessing without obedience. These laws go right across the cultures. Cultures that adhere to the primacy of obedience to children will be blessed. This is the reason the Chinese civilization has lasted so long. The foundation of respect to parents, filial piety, has been a moral life virtue. Even if they do not believe God, if they abide by it, then they obey God and will share in the blessing.

What does this say of God? Does it mean that God is just trying to limit our fun on earth? Does it mean that God doesn’t really care for us? The opposite is true. Commands are designed to help keep the children in a safe playing environment. They become borders in which we can safely operate because God knows what lies outside of those parameters, problems will develop. You say, “What problems?” Let me mention a few.

Spoiled children

Difference between obedient and disobedient childrenHow many people like bratty or spoiled children? These children have not learned to value others. They think about themselves rather than how they should please others. They are not obedient. The parents don’t dare refuse them less a violent storm develop over the spirit of the child. The parents eventually persuade themselves that it is better to give no commands so their children so that they do not get upset. This is totally different than the perspective we find here, “Children are to obey parents.” Instead we have such rebellious children that parents are afraid to give commands to because they do not enforce them.

Clever and prideful children

When children are not called to obedience, then they become quite manipulative. Some children are worse than others, but the root problem is the same. They value the way they can get around their parents’ commands. They despise their parents’ wisdom seen in their rules. Some do it by shouting and temper tantrums, others by saying, “Okay, Mommy,” but in fact when they turn the corner, they disobey. They watch the television show they want, IM with their friends or talk to people their parents say they shouldn’t. They are wise in their own eyes. They are not wise but full of folly. They believe their ways are superior to their parents’ wisdom and pride themselves in their own ways. They even pay themselves all sorts of compliments on the way they got around their parents’ restrictions as their friends listen to your story.

Daring and bold

These same children often become daring and bold in a bad way. They should have learned the fear of God from their respect to their parents. It works this way. They learn that when they do something wrong, that there is a negative consequence. This is where discipline comes in. They learn from this that some things in life are wrong and at the same time learn to control themselves not to do such things. The purpose behind discipline (physical and otherwise) is to ensure that their children will obey their parents. When they do not have these set of negative consequences shaping their decisions, they do what they want in defiance to their parents if needed.

Children do not learn this immediately. They learn it over through repetition and in different settings. They learn something or mature and they want to see if the same negative consequences come to play. Parents, do not give up. We might get tired of pursuing them but otherwise they will like many other children make themselves the supreme authority. The terrible stories of young people killing themselves, getting doped up, hurting others all derive by children who have not submitted themselves to their parents’ rules.

They who fear no consequence. They are the fool.

They learn that doing certain things are wrong by sad experience such as those suffering from STDs or divorce. Some parents believe this fear of authority, like parents is unhealthy, but God our Maker says it is critical to a good life. If you do not believe me, just do a study on fifty people and see how their behavior is shaped by their parents. The more the children obey their parents, the happier and safer these young people will be.

Remember, this command is with a promise.

A child learns through obedience that some things are unsafe. They do not need to experiment with them. They have learned through their parents that smoking is unhealthy so they do not even seriously consider smoking because their parents say so.

“And you shall know the truth, and
the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32).

Obedience’s blessings are seen in the free spirit of the children living in obedience. They love their parents and have a proper perspective of themselves. The power of obedience is in its blessings. Conform to God’s truth and your whole life will be transformed. Jesus said it this way, “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” ( John 8:32).

The problem is that we often never get to that point. I have met with many supposedly obedient children, but they only on the outward have obeyed their parents and sneakily deviated from what one’s parents really wanted. True obedience comes from the heart and there one will find great moving of the Holy Spirit. Paul the apostle gives us one more power-packed line with regards to obedience in Ephesians 6:4.

Next => Read about Ephesians 6:4

Most of BFF articles such as this one is nicely formatted for printing. This article also has a Powerpoint. Check out the great number of articles on the BFF Biblical Training Library all at one low cost.
For further reflection on these topics with BFF articles:
Influence of the Family in the Ten Commandments
Reflection on a child's obedience from Proverbs 4
The father's duty to bring good into the family-Deuteronomy 6
Raising Godly Children
Need for Boundaries for Children

  •  Read more exciting and practical articles on parenting. Just click on a link or graphic below.

    Parenting Seminar Parenting Perspectives Parenting Challenges

    Biblical Parenting Principles provides helpful teaching on forming a godly family. This series provides good reading material with handouts and diagrams. (Chinese)

    Principles & Practices of Biblical Parenting

    #1 The Goals of Parenting (Spanish)
    Understand the key role God's goals for the family have in shaping godly children.
    #2 One Great Team: Dad & Mom
    The responsibility, need and ability for husbands to work along with their wives as teammates in order to produce godly children.
    #3 Parental Authority
    Understand the parents' responsibility to govern their children and to properly put it in effect in the home.
    #4 Developing Self-Control in our Children
    The need and means of cultivating self-control in our children from an early age in order that they may please God and focus on serving others.
    #5 Child Training & Routines

    Enable parents to understand, use and create effective routines to further the training of toddlers and older children.
    #6 Correcting Your Children
    Properly deal with disobedient children so that they might become joyful family members.
    #7 Discipline & Use of Rod
    A scriptural perspective of discipline and ways to properly administer the rod.
    #8 Setting Boundaries
    Set up, implement and maintain proper and effective boundaries for our children.
    #9 Raising Godly Children
    Applying biblical principles to provide proper spiritual care for our children.
    #10 Developing Intergenerational Love
    Enable parents to show God's love and truth to their own parents and in-laws during visits with each other.
    #11 Restoring Older Children

    Even though we have made mistakes, we must not give up on our teens and older children. Lots of advice stemming from biblical principles are given to enable you to restore your children to your loving authority.

    Harmony in Parenting – Discipline
    The need and process of harmony among parents is well illustrated. Special focus is given on the area of discipline.

    Fathers Learn Effective Leadership
    Fathers, improve your leadership! Learn from God's example what to do when those under your authority do not obey.

    Index: Godly Beginnings for the Family

    Godly Beginnings for the Family series helps parents start right: filled with lots of practical advice for prebirth, birth and postbirth accompanied with reading, handouts and clear illustrations on early training. Check above for downloads.

    Godly Beginnings for the Family

    #1 Family Commitment
    Making a commitment to raising godly children helps parents and children to withstand the influences of this evil generation.
    #2 Family Foundations

    Family Planning
       Husband-Wife Roles
    Start right; end right! Shows how greatly our decisions and assumptions impact our parenting.
    God's Family Health Plan
    Once we start looking at the scriptures, we are astounded how much God speaks about our health. God really does care for us. We need only to obey.
    #4 Preparations for Childbirth
    Childbirth is a miracle. Now if we would only stop interfering with God's ways our births would be better and easier.
    #5 Tender Newborn Care
    Care for the mother and child afterbirth is important. Detailed suggestions as well as routines are provided for both Mom and baby.
    #6 The Challenge of Child Training
    Now that we have the child, how do we effectively train up a godly child? Start young!
    #7 Disciplining and Training Small Children
    Come discover how to properly use discipline in the training of your young children.
    #8 Setting up Godly Routines for Young Children
    Routines is our key to building training into a child's life. It works with one or ten children.

    Discipling Children in Anger
    Instructive charts on how one can stop correcting children in anger.

    Setting Television Standards
    Set standards on watching movies by reflecting on Indiana Jones and Psalm 36.

    Priorities for Family and Life
    This chart shows the overall perspective on life and how family fits into it.

    Connecting Love with Discipline - Discover why love requires discipline -Hebrews 12.

    Discipling your sons: The why and way
    Should a father disciple his sons? How does he go about it?

    Having a great marriage is the best start for being good parents. See our Marriage Navigator for more than 60 articles on marriage!

    Children in Public Worship (New)
    A Is it too late? No. Even with years of anger and

    Regaining the Hearts of Your Teens (New)
    A Is it too late? No. Even with years of anger and bitterness, parents nd children can have hope if they follow the principles written about in this two-part series (Problems & Solutions).

    Improving a Parent's Touch
    Shows how fears and intimidation are passed down to our children (and ourselves).

    Is Birth Control Christian?
    Shows how to understand Genesis 1:28 in our modern society.

    Recovering Biblical Parenting
    Ten differences between secular and biblical parenting are clearly outlined and discussed.

    Can my son wearing earrings?
    Clear teaching on how to set godly standards in a changing culture.

    Decay in society
    The decay in society is clearly outlined in a chart in three stages from Romans 1:18-32.

    The Moral Slide of Sin
    Filled with charts depicting the connection between cultural and personal decay.

    Personal Impact
    This chart from Galatians 6:7-8 reminds us of the personal impact of each family member on the whole.

    Parents' Impact on their Children
    This chart from Exodus 20:5-6 shows the tremendous influence parents have on their children and following generations.

    Devastating Effects of Secular Parenting
    The terrible effects of secular parenting practices are seen in the results.

    Passing On a Love for God
    See David's intense love for God and the people pass on to Solomon's life through the two appearances of God to him.

    Need of Parental Love
    The dynamics of love and its effect on our children.


    Read more exciting and practical articles on the Book of Ephesians.

    Ephesians 1:1-3 Every Spiritual Blessing

    Ephesians 1:1 Only by the Will of God
    Ephesians 1:2 Only in Christ Jesus
    Ephesians 1:3 Every Spiritual Blessing
    Ephesians 1:1-3 Bible Study Questions

    Ephesians 1:4-6 Bible Study Questions
    Ephesians 1:1-14 Redemption & Sovereignty
    Ephesians 1:15-17 Bible Study Questions

    Ephesians 2

    Ephesians 2:1-3 Our Need, His Grace

    Ephesians 2:1-3, an Introduction
    Ephesians 2:1 A) Man's Nature
    Ephesians 2:2 B) Man's World
    Ephesians 2:3 C) Man's Heart
    Questions (Ephesians 2:1-3)

    Ephesians 2:8-10 Extraordinary Purpose
    Ephesians 2:8-10, an Introduction
    Ephesians 2:8-9 A) Purpose of Salvation
    Ephesians 2:10 B) Purpose of our Lives
    Questions (Ephesians 2:8-10)

    Ephesians 2:19-22 Bible Study Questions

    Ephesians 3

    Ephesians 3:1-10 Growing in Our Commitment
    Ephesians 3:1-10, Introduction
    Ephesians 3:1 The Value of the Gospel
    Ephesians 3:2-5 The Reliability of the Gospel
    Ephesians 3:6-7 The Glory of the Gospel
    Ephesians 3:8-10 The Calling of the Gospel
    Questions (Ephesians 3:1-10)

    Ephesians 3:14-21 The Fullness of God's Love

    Ephesians 3:20-21 God's Unlimited Power
    Ephesians 3:20-21 Unlimited Power
    Ephesians 3:20 God's Amazing Power
    Ephesians 3:21 God's Amazing Glory
    Ephesians 3:20-21 Bible Study Questions

    Ephesians 4

    Ephesians 4:1-3 Preserving the Spirit's Unity

    Intro: Problems of Disunity
    Ephesians 4:1 Calling to Unity
    Ephesians 4:2-3 Our Oneness of the Body
    Ephesians 4:3 Preservation of Unity
    Ephesians 4:1-3 Bible Study Questions
    Ephesians 4:4-5 Reason for Oneness
    Ephesians 4:6 One God & Father
    Ephesians 4:4-6 Bible Study Questions

    Ephesians 4:11-16 The Purpose of Training

    Ephesians 4:11-13: A) God's Word in the Church
    Ephesians 4:11 Gifts in the church
    Ephesians 4:12 Purpose of equipping
    Ephesians 4:13 The final goal
    Ephesians 4:11-13 Bible Study Questions

    Ephesians 4:14 B) Responsibility 1. Deceit
    Ephesians 4:15a 2. Speaking the truth in love
    Ephesians 4:15b 3. Grow up into Christ
    Ephesians 4:16 Summary: Function of the Church
    Ephesians 4:14-16 Bible Study Questions
    Ephesians 4:17-24 Bible Study Questions

    Ephesians 4:11-14 Chart: Equipping of the Saints
    Ephesians 4:25 Power of Speaking the Truth
    Ephesians 4:25 Bible Study Questions

    Ephesians 4:26-27 The Urgency of Resolving Anger
    Ephesians 4:31 The Tree of Bitterness

    Ephesians 5-6

    Ephesians 5:8-14 Bible Study Questions
    Ephesians 5:21 Mutual Submission?
    Ephesians 5:22,24 Wives be Subject mp3
    Ephesians 5:25 Marital Love
    Ephesians 5:31-32 Redemptive Analogy & Marriage
    Ephesians 5:31-33 Building a Great Marriage

    Ephesians 6:1-4 Parent-Child Relationships
    Ephesians 6:1-4 Modern Family Problems
    Ephesians 6:1-2a Obedience pleases God
    Ephesians 6:2-3 Obedience brings profit
    Ephesians 6:4 Obedience requires training | Questions
    Ephesians 6:17 Sword of Spirit

       BFF Homepage  | Top | Back | BFF Topics | Ephesians 6:1-4 Study questions

    Biblical Foundations for Freedom

    Paul J. Bucknell

    NASB Bible used