Setting Godly Standards for the Family
"Can our boy wear an earring?"The question whether it is appropriate for males to wear an earring is only one of the many questions parents are being forced to answer today. As the culture changes, these questions are getting more and more challenging and distressing. Body piercing, tattoos, hair coloring and design, dropped pants and design nails are just a few other items in a long list that make some parents really wonder how to properly respond (see sidebar). Parents and people in authority are wondering how to address such quickly changing and somewhat drastic changes.
Although this article will focus on the particular fad of men earrings, we trust a better understanding of how to develop principles will also be present. The clearer we grasp the principles behind these new customs, the better we will be able to make clear judgments for our children. Our children are not asking just whether they can do something but why they cannot. We need to have an answer.
Many people travel widely in our age. They are exposed to other cultures personally or by being exposed to different cultures via the media. Unfortunately, most people conclude from this that standards are relative and do not matter. If people can acceptably do something in their culture, they see no problem copying and doing that in their own cultural setting.
In one culture, for example, they will see that male standards require men to wear a certain kind of clothes, maybe wearing a robe like in Jesus' time. In another culture men wear pants. They assume if they can acceptably do it in one culture, then it is okay to do it in their own. The argument seems to make sense but it has some faults. There are certain tests any custom must first pass.
First of all, we need to ask is there anything that would prohibit a certain custom or preference in all cases? Yes there are many verses that speak to what is not pleasing. Note 1 Timothy 2:9 below.
The principles of modesty, inexpensive, God-pleasing (proper), and un-sensual always help us evaluate right and proper attire. The price of clothes has greatly come down due to manufacturing factories. Nice things can be bought at low prices. Although this passage specially refers to women, the principles would also apply to men where applicable. Can we see how the scriptures here state that some things such as an immodest1 or expensive dress are always wrong? They are always wrong. God is simply not pleased with it.
Immodest clothing purposely brings attention to ones body rather than ones face. Expensive items are designed to impress and show off ones wealth.
If we would want to understand this subject more, we could ask questions like, "Why is God not pleased with expensive clothing or hair designs?" "Is it the costs or the design itself?" "Does the design lead men to focus on their outer person rather than their inner godly character?"
Some customs, words and styles are always wrong. God does not like them. Other ones are conditional on where it is used or by whom it is used. In our particular question, we are searching whether what one gender does is okay but impermissable for the other. Does God really have gender-designed rules? Specifically, women can wear earrings but can men? Let's look at Deuteronomy 22:5 which helps us understand God's approach to certain cultural changes.
Let's draw three principles to help us understand what is being said in this verse.
1) Two clear genders with clear distinctive clothing
We should first see that there is a need to keep a clear distinction between the two genders (male and female). God made two sexes. There is no third category as people are suggesting nowadays (such as transsexuals). God has made no such category. God made male and female. He stopped there and so should we!
Even today, we see a vast difference between men and women departments. The clothes and fashions are very different. Men and women are glad they are different. Each culture holds a clear distinction between male and female apparel. One person relayed to me yesterday why women's clothing is so much more expensive. They were told, "Women are willing to pay much more." They are fashion-oriented. People understand this and recognize the difference.
This scripture verse does not define man or woman's clothing. It doesn't tell us men ought to wear pants. Indeed, the clothing that Jesus wore is vastly different than what men in a western context might wear today. We, however, need to accept that there is a gender distinction, a God-given male/female distinction that is defined by a culture. It is this distinction that needs to remain firm. This is what we call a standard.
2) Men and women are not to wear the other sex's clothing.
Even more clear, however, is the clear command not to cross-wear, that is, men are not to wear women's clothes and women not to wear men's clothes. "Nor shall a man put on a woman's clothing."
It is now common to see men wearing an earring. One is tempted to conclude that because men now wear them, then there is no longer any feminine association with wearing earrings. The culture has changed! This is where Christians are caught off guard.
At any point in time we will see different fads coming in and going out. When does women apparel become acceptable to both men and women (unisex)? Let's discuss this more in the third point.
3) Popularity does not make gender cross-wear permissible.
Certain things which are acceptable to people within a culture are not acceptable to God. God said it is not acceptable to Him even if the culture accepts it. Why? Because it has crossed gender lines. The gender distinction becomes blurred every time men or women wear other clothing or apparel like earrings from the other gender. These things are not just preferences but an abomination to God.
Cultures do change but the changes such as boys wearing earrings are not permissible. Women must keep their style changes within their own gender. Wearing earrings is traditionally a feminine thing. Men just did not wear earrings (in the modern Western context). Women can wear big or small earrings. Both are considered feminine even though one might be popular and the other not. (Remember, though, the other standards mentioned above!) Men need to keep style changes within their own masculine definitions.
Men can wear hats. They can wear all sorts of hats but not feminine hats. Men traditionally do not wear earrings. They must not wear an earring even if other males are starting to wear earrings in one or two ears. The two sides must keep change within their own definitions of what is masculine or feminine.
Cultural fads are okay just so they stay within God's general guidelines (see point 1) and gender guidelines (see point 2). God protects us with His Law to keep us righteous. Let's just expand this idea a bit.
When one man blurs the line of gender distinction by wearing an earring, he is rebelling against God's command. He is stating that men and women can share styles and customs. God says they are not to do this. This is why there should not be any cross gender custom change. If those in our culture have instigated a style change, this doesn't make it right. So in our specific case, just because one percent of men wear earrings, this does not make it right. Even if the percentage increases to ten or twenty, we need to realize that it is not popularity that makes it right or wrong. Because it started off in rebellion, it will remain to be an item that displeases God.
Let me close with two questions that often come up in people's minds when these issues are discussed.
a) Why is gender cross-dressing not pleasing to God?
This is not just some miscellaneous Old Testament law. The law expresses God's hatred for this wearing clothes that are considered appropriate for the other sex. The Lord has made male and female's preferences for apparel quite distinct and means to keep them this way. Even in 1 Timothy 2:9 above, we see this fashion business was a woman issue. It was not a man issue. But let's show you the roots of this problem and perhaps you can better perceive God's love in His laws.
When men started wearing earrings in the States, it was seen as a 'fag' (homosexual) custom. I can remember hearing all sorts of comments being said throughout high school days. Unfortunately, they were not all nicely stated. The earring, the culture that was associated with it, was a sign of other hidden changes. It was an expression of the sodomitic culture. Not all men wearing an earring are homosexual, but we need to better understand why God outlaws cross gender dressing.
People wear things for certain purposes. Men typically care less about their clothing than woman. Women care a lot of looking just right. In sodomitic relationships, though there is only one sex, one acts more aggressive and manish while the other acts more responsive and womanish (sorry if this language is so blunt). It is well known that men wear earrings to look attractive to other men. These are the effeminate. Cross gender clothing and styles, therefore, are prohibited because they foster sodomy. The two are connected.
We need to remember even though our boys are free from problems with homosexuality, if they are wearing an earring, a sodomite will single him out with a special eye. Our daughters are to dress modestly so they are not targeted by the stray eyes of men. And certainly we do not want men attracted to our boys or our own selves (if we as men wear earrings).
b) Does the scriptures agree with this perspective?
This is not legalism. Legalism is the belief that living by certain standards we can please God. We openly acknowledge keeping some laws will never give us the righteousness that we need. Only our faith in Christ can grant us this righteousness. But having been declared righteous, we also desire to live out His commands. Once we know God's standards for some matter such as gender cross dress, then we need to responsibly make applications to our lives. Otherwise we are stating we love God's law when we don't observe it.
God speaks very clearly to how terrible sodomy is. This is the reason He forbids gender cross-wear. Let's note more clearly how God perceives sodomy.
Sodomy is clearly forbidden. Romans 1:18-32 states that sodomy is one sign of a society at moral lows.
Note how 1 Corinthians 6:9 forbids sexual aberrant lifestyles that are popular such as adultery, effeminate or homosexual.
Lastly, we should note how adopting clothing from those of other cultures is sometimes wrong. Clothing often brings with it wrong cultural standards and therefore is rejected.
In this case it is obvious that the ungodly culture came with the clothing. If the custom is adopted, then the associated culture is also adopted.
Gender cross-dressing is an expression of the rebellious sodomitic culture. They don't want to submit to God's gender distinctions. Not every boy or male wearing an earring is a sodomite, but we need to be aware how much the ungodly behavior is connected to cultural items and symbols.
My heart grieves over parents not protecting their children from the world's harm. Yes, they might be ignorant, but still they are not protecting their young ones. In the verse below how the enemy has set up their own banners right in the camp of God's people. A recent acquaintance told me that he knows of quite a few Christian men who wear earrings. Clearly they are violating God's standards. They themselves are bringing the signs of the enemy right in God's camp. This shows God's judgment upon us.
If you as a parent have allowed your son to wear an earring, you should repent before God even if you were ignorant of His laws. You need to explain in age-appropriate terms to your son that God hates gender cross customs. If he is older, you need to explain how this gender cross wear is associated with ungodly sexual customs.
There are many other cross gender customs such as hair and nail design that are becoming popular. We need to realize the beauty of God's law; it protects us when we obey, even if we don't know the reason why.
More articles are similiar issues.
Decay in society
Biblical Foundations for Freedom