- BFF Home
- About Us
- Life Truths
- RSS Feed
Purpose: Help the Christian man to maintain his purity and enjoy his walk even when walking on a beach or into an area where female beauties display their sexy bodies.
Part 1 of 3.
Taking a walk on a beach should be an easy and enjoyable adventure. This is not so when the weather is warm and women are scantily clothed. As sure as the waves crash onto the shore, a man can be sure that he will meet up with temptation. The pursuit for this article is to enable men to transform such walks into glorious and God-honoring times.
Anyone concerned with purity knows what I mean. Whether one dons a clerical collar, is a regular beach comber or is closing in on seniority, temptation still presents itself. The evil one is doing his best to utilize these pleasant walks to bring men down into servitude to their fleshly desires. He is trying to destroy what otherwise would be a wonderful refreshing walk. I just love ocean walks that invigorate me as they provide special times with God as I meditate on the great wonders of the ocean, glorious shapes of colorful shells and powerful crashing waves.
Men know that they do not need to see women in bathing suits to be enticed to think wrongly about them. Although this article focuses on an ocean walk, if you as a man are having problems controlling your eyes when walking down the street or in a classroom, then the this article will bring help.
"I have made a covenant with my eyes;
How then could I gaze at a virgin?" (Job 31:1)
This article, though, is written to those who have overcome regular temptation. This article will be dealing with handling extraordinary temptations. In other words, we are sharing how to maintain one's pure heart rather than to secure a heart free from lust. General principles on how to overcome lusts can be found on our series on overcoming lusts.
We will assume you have somewhat mastered these. Basic training and discipline of our thoughts and hearts are necessary before we can focus on more challenging situations.
Before there is any consistent success, we like Job need to make a covenant with our eyes that we might not gaze at a woman. As a married man, I must keep my eyes and mind for the wife whom the Lord gave me. This is true too for the single person. We desire 100% purity. Our down deep wish must be to be holy for the Lord and our wife (or future wife).
Our goal is to protect our walks and make them honoring and delightful times with the Lord. Before ensuing discussion on how to train oneself in overcoming temptation to obtain our goal in what would be an otherwise treacherous walk, let us note some general observations. They are largely built on basic teaching on overcoming sexual lusts.
Some beaches are more than a man can handle. Even if one was able to overcome all temptation, there are so many stumbling blocks that there is no joy in the walk. All one's time is spent overcoming the calls to indulge in lust. There is little time left to enjoy the beauty of God's creation. I follow the common advice: Don't go to a crowded beach if possible. Stay away from popular pools. Do not take cruises in warmer areas. Prepare to instantaneously leave.
Although one can train himself to overcome lust binges, we are not expected to walk on hot coals without being singed. These are just common sense rules that we set for ourselves and those under our charge (like our children). We might at times be thrust into 'intolerable' situations. We can call upon God for help in such situations (2 Corinthians 5:17). But we should learn from Joseph's response to temptation. When it got too hot, he fled. Or in some cases like pool sides, we simply do not go.
Some men will respond back saying, "I am enjoying God's creation." By this, of course, they are referring to the sights of nicely shaped women.
"Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice in the wife of your youth."
There is no doubt that we all enjoy a general pleasing sensation from beautiful form. We do not mean to say that these women were not specially gifted with beauty. God unabashedly made them sexy but not for all men to equally see, touch or be captivated by. A woman is made for her man. A man's eyes should only delight in the wife of his youth. A man must reserve his thoughts for his wife or if single, his wife to be (The single then must refuse to indulge in sexual desires).
Observation of an attractive woman is not sin nor the general pleasing sensation, but our thoughts can take that moment and pollute it. Indeed Satan will try to hijack beautiful thoughts and seek to have us pollute what is so beautiful.
Jesus said it this way, "But I say to you, that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). There is a point when a man goes from looking at a woman's form with general pleasure to where he wants to look more and to please himself with aggravated thoughts of her. Usually at this point he begins to think specific thoughts about specific parts of her body and perhaps specific follow-up action that he would like to see occur. That is the point of lust. This is the point where our covenant with our wife is broken. This is where we have committed adultery.
"Yet you say, 'For what reason?'
Because the LORD has been a witness between you and
the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife
by covenant " (Malachi 2:14).
Jesus clearly states this point of lust ushers a man into adultery. What was to be a casual walk on the beach all of a sudden has become the treacherous act of adultery. (We at this point will not think what is going on inside the woman's mind who wears such few clothing for all to see. She unknowingly becomes a partner in more adulterous cases than she ever even thought). What could be so glorious (our walk) can quickly become a devastating offense against God, the woman, our wives and ourselves. Unless we can appreciate the Lord's point of view spoken here, a man will swiftly become a victim of his lusts and the devil.
The most important training needed consists of clarifying and affirming one's love for his wife. He must be devoted to his wife. If a man is not yet married, he must be in the same way committed to the wife of his future. "I will wholly reserve my thoughts for the wife of my future." A man must be pure. He must be committed to reserving his sexual thoughts and fantasies directed only towards his wife. Any exceptions become the doorway where fornication and adultery enter.
We are not prepared to develop how this commitment is gained. This is the basic resolve a man has established in his life. It has much to do with a new heart that God gives us when we are saved. We want to please Him. We want to rightly treat others (think righteous). It is true that some women will not mind being viewed as pornographic 3D objects. Most would be outright disillusioned and scared if they could see how a man's mind wonders into devilish thoughts. They think they are being admired, but they are only being used and cast away once the man has used her.
In the end, however, the way we think of or treat a woman does not depend upon what she thinks (which she could never really know) but on whether our thoughts please God and are fully committed to the marriage covenant which we are engaged in (or will be). God made men to righteously treat women. Lust is an open admission that a man has mistreated a woman in his mind. He has become self-serving rather than living out Christ's agape love.
Besides this commitment to purity, we must delight in what is good. I am not speaking of knowing this is what we should do but actually down in our heart delight in it. Our knowledge must become experiential. There must be an inherent trust in God's ways. If we doubt either the inherent blessing of purity or the ability through His grace to be pure, then we have readied ourselves to fall into temptation. It is this confidence in God's better ways that will enable us to pick up from our failures and to obtain those good and pleasant walks.
See the emptiness and
pain of a lust-filled life.