Chapter 6: Overcome Pride, Cling to Humility

#56 Self-Esteem and Pride

Discipleship Level 2: Reaching Beyond Mediocrity

By Paul J. Bucknell

#56 Self-Esteem and Pride

Introduction

• Self-esteem is good for a healthy life, right? Well, not necessarily. Self-esteem often is inseparably bound up with pride. Let’s better understand the reason for this.

Hidden Movements of Self-Esteem

Pride masks itself behind larger religious, educational, or military establishments as well as philosophical and psychological movements around the world. Many of these establishments are fine and needed, but they can become distorted when infiltrated by pride. Many believe, for example, that high self-esteem contributes to a healthy emotional life, but they are unaware that pride is hiding behind the scenes. Instead of contributing to a child’s health, this teaching of self-esteem, largely adopted in Christian circles without qualification, is increasing their ego.

Self-esteem often refers to the way one attaches one’s positive self-value or worth to one’s self-confidence. Without this self- confidence, one does not feel that he or she can do a certain task. A lack of self-confidence (i.e., negative self-esteem) causes people to look at themselves as unable to accomplish what is needed; it will be dismissed as impossible, even before it is attempted.

These two sides of self-esteem closely match the terms that we have used in previous chapters: misplaced confidence and lack of confidence. If we focus on gaining the right or proper perspective of the self, that is fine. The scriptures exhort us to think of ourselves soberly:

For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have reason for boasting in regard to himself alone, and not in regard to another (Galatians 6:3-4).

Unfortunately, the self-esteem movement is filled with humanistic elements that foster pride. Without considering God’s perspective of the world, people cannot get a proper perspective of their own lives. Self-esteem teaching has become “selfology” (in contrast to theology), a companion teaching of humanism.

Problems of Self-Esteem

Popular notions of self-esteem go awry at several significant points.

• God is not the chief factor

First, it encourages people to think of themselves apart from God’s involvement. Rather than being led to worship God and trust His glorious grace to help them, they think about their lives as if God had not made, situated, or gifted them. Worship of God is replaced with self-worship.

• People think more highly of themselves than appropriate

Second, the self-esteem movement encourages individuals to “think highly” of themselves. They are taught to think more highly of themselves than is healthy as there are no set standards with which to compare themselves. Teachers are afraid of bruising the so-called “self-esteem" of their students so they may not rebuke or criticize them when it’s called for.

• People tend to ignore the needs of others

Third, when self-esteem mixes with egotism, people become ignorant of their proud attitudes and problematic relational strategies. By focusing on what they want to be, they become

affected by arrogant and selfish attitudes that ruin their lives and make it impossible to live in community.

God is real, and we must think of our lives considering God’s expectations of us (2 Thessalonians 1:11). One might believe something is true about oneself, but it does not mean it is an accurate impression! The self-potential movement easily generates egotistical thinking without the safeguards of the reality and higher purposes of God. People are taught, even at the kindergarten level, to think of themselves independently from God’s rule of this world. They are taught to think of what they want rather than what God wants (2 Thessalonians 1:12). The “Christianized” version of self-esteem indoctrinates them to utilize God to accomplish their dreams and goals rather than being empowered to live out God’s purpose for their lives.

A Balanced View of Life

In contrast, the apostle carefully directs our focus to what God has done through our lives. Only when we have been faithful, and, by His grace, worked hard to please Him to accomplish what He designed us for, can we state that we have been faithful. This recognition of what God has done in our lives is not prideful but a sincere evaluation of His work in us (2 Thessalonians 1:11 “count worthy”). This is Paul’s posture in life. Praise goes to God for being our help and guide.

But I do not consider my life of any account as dear to myself, in order that I may finish my course, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify solemnly of the gospel of the grace of God (Acts 20:24)

God has uniquely created and designed us with different bodies, minds, gifts, situations, personalities, and inner desires. He has work for us to do. We should not boast in others who do great things nor should we boast in what we hope to do. We must

only boast in what God has done through our lives as we humbly see God’s grace at work in us.

For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Thy works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from Thee, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth (Psalm 139:13-15).

Our great life opportunity is to express gratefulness to God for the way He made us. We are humbled by the fact that we cannot do our greatest good without Him, and so, we energetically purpose ourselves to carry out what He wants through His wisdom and power to serve Him. Paul had received a ministry and set himself to finish (complete) that work for which he was designed to carry out. Each believer is said to have good works or deeds that he or she is to fulfill.

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them (Ephesians 2:10).

Who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds (Titus 2:14).

Gratefulness and Responsibility

Accomplishment and faithfulness is accompanied both by an inner peace and gratefulness to God and others who have helped us in the process. Ungratefulness is often bred by situations where individuals always get what they want. When people have been spoiled, they do not focus on what they have achieved but on what they want. Their desires rule them (see Eli’s sons in 1 Samuel 2:16).

People have innate value and resources because they are made in the image of God, but the real sense of worth will not be seen unless those same individuals responsibly carry out God’s will and purpose for their lives. Even if we were to discover a way to use all of our potential, unless we rely on God to accomplish His will, we will have completely failed.

If we do not work from a sense of responsibility toward God, any gained achievement will only serve to increase our pride. These worldly attitudes are commonly seen: “I made myself successful.” “I retired early.” These attitudes have nothing to do with our responsibility to accomplish God’s purposes for our lives.

For the Glory of God

Our generation urgently needs to take its eyes off itself and place them on the Lord. Only in this way can we focus on the task at hand, find the grace in Him to do it, and accomplish it for His glory. The Lord in the end wants to be able to say to us, “Good and faithful servant.” We will only hear those words, though, when we see that it is God strengthening us to accomplish what He wants us to do. There is no pride here, at least not in ourselves. The glory goes to the Lord who enables us to carry out His work.

The Bible does not tell us to increase our low self-esteem but it does command us to humble ourselves and glorify God. The word “glory” is used over 300 times in the Bible. Again and again, we are told to give glory to God. “Glory in His holy name; Let the heart of those who seek the LORD be glad” (Psalm 105:3). If a man has any problem, it is actually because he thinks too much of himself and his accomplishments and far too little of God’s glory and purposes.

Consider Humility

Instead of thinking of ourselves as self-sufficient, independent beings, let us humble our hearts before our Creator who alone deserves praise. Jesus states that the path of life begins by humbling ourselves and realizing how far we are from God (Matt 5:1-4). “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:3).

The solution is not to gain confidence in ourselves but rather to gain confidence in God’s work in us through Christ. As believers in Christ, we all have this problem to some degree. This quest to broaden our faith in God through Christ’s work in us largely dictates the growth of the believer.

This book is designed to build up that level of God-confidence by establishing the trustworthiness of God and His Word, the purpose of God to work in us (which encourages us), and the many devices of the evil one.

Points of Reflection

How does Galatians 6:3-4 help us develop a balanced view for our lives?

What are some problems of the self-esteem movement?

How does Acts 20:24 help us get a right perspective on our lives?

Use Titus 2:14 to describe what kind of life God wants for us.