Goals of Parenting

Biblical Principles

Paul J. Bucknell

As we discuss these issues, we see that several presuppositions are in the mind of the authors. We want to share these with you so that you can understand what shapes our advise. The Bible doesn't lay out these principles in order but it does authoritatively teach them. We would suggest a parent have the given responsibilities:

1) Parents are expected to give the best care possible to their children. We cannot always give the health or wealth we would otherwise want to give to them. But we can give milk, food and warmth. This is important, but there are other things a parent must help the child with.

We learn that God had made a nice earth with all sorts of plants and animals for mankind. Our heavenly Father knows our needs and cares for them.

"But if God so arrays the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more do so for you, O men of little faith? "Do not be anxious then, saying, "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "With what shall we clothe ourselves?" "For all these things the Gentiles eagerly seek; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things." (Matthew 6:30-32).

Some might include the need to provide wealth or a college education for a child. This is not necessary but be important. The following needs are more important than wealth and modern education. (Education is often equated with a knowledge of skills to get a good job. Unfortunately, they often get bad concepts when learning certain skills. We need to be careful of these things.)

2) The parents are also to care for the preparation of that child for adulthood. A parent cannot do everything for a child all through life. We would see this child as emotionally crippled. We want the child to be a 'normal' adult which can care for its needs and others around him.

This training, which is what we have been discussing above, will center on developing his character. If a person goes up and grabs someone else's purse and takes their money, or does other such things, the child has not learned to properly act with other people. Self-control is at the heart of other character traits such as politeness, gentleness, compassion, diligence, etc. We care about these other character qualities but limit ourselves to the development of self-control because of space and time. A parent's responsibilites do not stop here though.

A person will not be judged whether he had enough food to eat, but he will be judged on the way he responded to God and others. The conscience is a human built-in device which allows us to be aware of the right or wrongness of thoughts and behavior. Samson was one boy whose focus on desires over law caused much harm and pain.

"And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4).

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." (Galatians 5:22,23).

"But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God;" (2 Timothy 3:1-4).

Many would stop here, but the scriptures do not allow us to stop on merely building good character. We must also teach our children the scriptures and the fear of God.

3) The parents are also responsible for teaching God's Word and principles to their children. We must take the wisdom we know from God's Word and pass it on. This is that which will shape our culture and decisions.

"And you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up." (Deuteronomy 6:7).