Redeeming a Walk on the Beach: Practical Advice
By Paul J. Bucknell
Learning how to enjoy God’s beauty without falling into lust
Part 1: General observations | Part 2: Practical advice | Part 3: Safe web viewing
Protecting Our Walk: Specific Advice
At this point, we want to suggest more specific ways to have God-honoring walks, whether at the beach, in a park, or near a pool.
Keep God’s goal for you in mind.
Remember, our goal is to enjoy a God-pleasing walk at the beach, not just to avoid temptation. It’s so easy for us to settle for a lesser goal of simply steering clear of temptation. While we do want to overcome temptation, focusing on it can lead to other issues. For example, if we concentrate on how we overcame temptation, it’s easy to become prideful and set ourselves up for another kind of temptation. Although Galatians 6:1 discusses helping others, the same sin of pride can occur in someone who has overcome sin. In our context, that person is ourselves. The warning is for us: “Each one looking to yourself, lest you too be tempted.” Our goal of enjoying God and the world He has placed us in must remain our focus. The aim to delight in who God is and what He has made should become our final thoughts and source of joy.
Red zone
Maintain a general watch for situations where one might be tempted. This typically involves noticing when women are dressed immodestly. This may vary for men depending on the context. But if you see women in bikinis—whether they're digging in the sand, surfing, or just walking ahead of you—be aware of the testing. Observe them from a distance so you're not caught off guard trying to devise a plan to resist temptation on the spot. Honestly, we need to be prepared for this, too.
Plan of action
Sometimes, our plan to avoid falling into temptation is as simple as walking on the part of the shore that keeps us away from that woman. For example, if she is sunbathing in the soft sand, I will walk in the water. If she is playing catch in the water, I will walk on the soft sand. This might not work if one faces temptation from both sides.
If I cannot easily change my course, I adjust my viewing area. This happens as often as I change my path. I can walk past these beauties, but because my view is out to sea, watching a ship or surfer, I can safely resist the temptation. I find it helpful to get through severe red zones by looking intently for shells, even if I don’t really want to. I look down. I enjoy greeting others, but cautiously avoid greetings with these women or even the men with them.
Why? Because it provides me with an up-close view. That would bring the temptation a step nearer and make the battle so intense that I no longer enjoy my walk.
Be accountable
Do not wear sunglasses that enable you to look without being publicly accountable. Sunglasses allow you to look at women you would otherwise need to arrange ahead of time with your buddy or wife, so they should ask you invasive questions. “Were you able to maintain God-honoring thoughts on your walk?” By arrange, I mean that you should ask them to ask you this question beforehand.
Guiding our thoughts
We must carefully guard our thoughts. This is where the battle is won or lost. There are several aspects to this. First, there is simply observing our thoughts. Then, there is controlling or steering our thoughts. Lastly, although connected to the previous, is refocusing. Let me briefly explain these.
(a) Observing our thoughts
I must stay aware of what I am thinking. It does me no good to realize that my mind has been filled with lustful thoughts over the last five minutes. If this is the case, I have probably crossed the point of no return. In situations like these, we often excuse, minimize, or even justify our thoughts. Adultery has been committed!
That wouldn't be a good way to see my wife. It would have been better if I hadn't gone (though the same thing can happen when I watch television and see its sensual commercials). I need to stay aware of my thoughts most of the time. That's why it’s helpful to recognize upcoming temptations.
(b) Steering our thoughts
I need to guide my thoughts. My thoughts will lead to proper actions, but before they do, I need to cleanse my mind with God’s Word (Eph 5:25). All I know about marriage, temptation, God, and my wife must come together in a way that solidifies what I will think about when I see these sights. I find myself continually reminding myself that my wife is the one I delight in. My thoughts might go like this.
That woman belongs to someone else. God has not given her to me. I am very happy with my wife and grateful that God has blessed me with her. She might be older and a little out of shape, but she has brought me joy over the years. I am so thankful to be her husband. I will remain faithful to her. Thank you, Lord, for giving her to me.
If I am not convinced of my delight in my wife, I will easily lose the fight. The battlefield is not the place to make crucial decisions. If you cannot delight in the wife of your youth, then pray to God to bring you to that necessary point. Only then will you be able to fight the enemy.
(c) Refocusing my thoughts
The final step is to refocus. By refocus, I don’t mean merely thinking correctly about our wives—that’s part (b). I don’t want my thoughts to continually focus on the woman, her inappropriate dress, the temptation, and so on, which would lead me away from living in the glorious path of the Lord. Instead, I turn my attention back to what is good and lovely.
This might include how lovely my wife is (I do not necessarily mean she is beautiful in appearance, but delightful despite her shortcomings). But it certainly includes recognizing how glorious God is and the world around me. I thank the Lord for all the special journeys He takes me on and the experiences I have, such as a walk on the beach.