Sometimes it is hard for singles to talk about marriage. Singles however are gaining attitudes early on that will affect their marriage. Unfortunately, most of these learned attitudes are not good. Who can tell me what is wrong with the marriages they see in the movies they watch? They don’t even see the flaws and so are not disgusted by the movies enough not to watch them. People must deliberately think about marriage in order to have a good marriage.
I have challenged everyone, whether married or not, to seriously contemplate whether the world’s ideas have influenced their thinking, expectations and perspectives. One can go through the ‘heresies’ one by one if desired. But don’t miss the most important part.
Do you believe that obedience to God’s Word will result in a good marriage and family and that disobedience results in bad marriages and families? If so, then discuss what it takes to have a good marriage. But start where God starts. Emphasize the things God has emphasized. Marriage is special and wonderful but it takes a commitment to obey God’s Word. Several training exercises for both single men and women have been given. If not, one needs to understand what the implications of the truth are (see John 8:32). There is no hope for improvement until one does.
It is helpful for people to share how they were trained for marriage by their parents. Neglect of proper training is still training but just very poor training. As one remembers his or her growing up days, it helps the individual to isolate the particular problems they will face. People learn from their parents in two ways: by observing (1) parents children relationships and father mother interactions.
A person’s marriage will never ‘naturally’ be better than his or her parents. That is why marriages tend to go from poor to worse. Only by identifying where one has accepted faulty perspectives and by God’s grace and truth make real life changes can that great marriage be obtained.
Remember that only groups of men or women best discuss some topics (rather than a mixed group). Do split up for those questions or don’t discuss them at all. The talk will be much more fruitful.