Friendship & Jealousy Study Handout
1 Samuel 18
Paul J. Bucknell
1 Samuel 18 presents two extremes—great love and intense hatred. The study follows how Saul moved from appreciation to jealousy, anger, distorted thinking, and murderous schemes.
A. Deep Friendships (1 Samuel 18:1–4)
“The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself” (1 Samuel 18:1).
Some friendships are not deliberately made; they develop through shared faith, purpose, experience, and loyalty. Jonathan’s covenant and gifts show a friendship willing to give rather than use.
- What makes for a great friendship?
- How does a true friendship differ from relationships driven by self-gratification?
B. Success Breeds Jealousy (1 Samuel 18:5–7)
David prospered wherever Saul sent him. The people and Saul’s servants approved of him, but the women’s song—“Saul has slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands”—exposed Saul’s insecurity.
C. Jealousy Brings Anger (1 Samuel 18:8–9)
18:8
18:8
18:9
18:10
Saul interpreted David through suspicion rather than truth. He could have acknowledged David’s gifts, thanked God for the help David brought Israel, and humbled himself before the Lord.
- What role can bitterness and anger play in making a person vulnerable to evil suggestions?
- At what point should jealousy and anger be confessed and rejected?
- How can a person escape the influence of destructive anger?
D. “Whoops” Plot #1: Saul’s Two Pretend Accidents (1 Samuel 18:10–16)
Saul held a spear while David played the lyre and thought, “I will pin David to the wall.” The act was not accidental. Saul’s inward jealousy had become premeditated violence, but the Lord protected David.
One might expect David to fear Saul, yet Saul feared David because the Lord was with David. Fear, jealousy, and anxiety increasingly controlled Saul’s judgment.
E. “May I?” Plot #2: Saul’s Offers of Marriage (1 Samuel 18:17–30)
Saul hid his murderous purpose behind an offer of marriage. He first offered Merab, then used Michal’s love for David as another opportunity to send David into dangerous battles. Each plan failed, while David continued to act wisely and prosper.
Summary and application
- What incited Saul’s jealousy?
- What happened when Saul mishandled it?
- How could Saul have responded differently?
- Have you been mislabeled or wrongly treated? How can you continue doing God’s will without allowing bitterness to take over?
- How does deception reveal an attempt to hide guilt rather than repent?