The Big Race

Joining in
What is the race like?
Can I make it?
Does it really matter?

Getting Ready
Getting in Shape
Your Trainers
Distance Training
Course Overview

Crossing the Line
Readying the Mind
Mastering the Course
Four designs
1) Human sexuality
Life applications
2) Blended Design
Partner Confusion
Being an Overcoming
Escaping homosexuality
Homosexual tendencies
3) Exclusive Design
Loving ones wife
"What if" questions
4) Whole hearted
Assessment time

Deciding to Win

Running the Race
Gaining stamina
Overcoming hurdles
Roadside cheer
Feeling overwhelmed
Thoughts controlled!

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God's Sexual Design for our Lives

#4 Designed for life-long marriage

But what about the alternatives?

Marriage was to designed to be life-long. The beauty and depth of relationship that can result in such long term marriages are tremendous.

  1. Death
  2. Experiential marriage
  3. Divorce

  • Death
  • Marriage is for life. It is tragic enough to have marriage cease at the end of our life here on earth. Usually the other spouse is left behind. There is so much adjusting to do. A couple should not contemplate other things that would break up a marriage mid-course. Here are some reasons why. In our next section we will discuss these reasons much more thoroughly. Marriage has been designed to be for life for many good reasons:
    Marriage ...
    • Portrays the beauty of the enduring quality of committed love and devotion.
    • Produces the stable environment in which love can develop and heal wounds.
    • Establishes a firm moral and loving foundation for the lives of their children.
    • Creates emotional security for each other through different stages of life.
    • Enables the couple to share on intimate and private matters that can not be easily shared elsewhere.
    • Pools financial resources for common purposes.

    The two become a couple, a single unit. This infers that there should be no interference with this pattern either before or after marriage. In order to sancitfy marriage, one must have complete purity both before and during the marriage. This ensures the purity and devotion one must have for his or her spouse.

  • Experiential marriage
    Experiential marriage by its obvious numbers doing it has become quite accepted now. The high rate of divorce and other difficulties in their parents' marriage has convinced many that living together before they get married makes a lot of sense. This of course is not right. They just do not realize that this situation does not at all serve as a good 'trial' marriage. Think of the differences.
    1. A real marriage is secure while experimental marriage is defined by its temporariness.
    2. The security in a marriage allows honest and real conversation to help each other mature. Insecurity in marriage leads to shallow relationships.
    3. Marriage provides for a no-matter-what type of commitment. Experiential marriage is focused on what one wants.
    4. Sexual intercourse for a married couple complements a union of hearts and wills. Sex for experimental marriages is focused on fulfilling ones own lusts.

    If people learn anything through experimental marriage, it is the wrong thing: life is fun; formality is troublesome; marriage is bothersome; relationships are superficial; children are immaterial; responsibility is old-fashioned. Unfortunately, it is not marriage that they learn about but the results of living immoral life-styles resulting in a lot of pain.

  • Divorce
    Divorce has become an option of working out our problems with our spouse! The point of a life-long marriage is to produce that backbone relationship which enables a couple to work through those very difficult problems. Instead, our society has deceived us saying that divorce has little consequence and even some benefits. I have recently heard two people say divorce has helped them. Divorce only hides problems; it doesn't solve them. The same hatred and anger is there but hidden.
  • Divorce is always bad. It always hurts. Divorce is a mentality that states marriage is only good when I like my mate. When things get tough and arguments are not solved, then I give up on that one person I have made all sorts of life promises to. My word is broken. I have made a covenant and no longer respect it due to my unwillingness to work through some issues. I just don't get that affirmation from that one that I need.

    The best cure for divorce is not to have one. Agree before marrying that divorce is not an option. Jesus has spoken about divorce because it is sometimes allowed because of adultery. It is not encouraged. God says, "I hate divorce!"     
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