Covenant and Commitment in Friendship
1 Samuel 18:1–4

Paul J. Bucknell

Jonathan’s love became visible through covenant, generosity, protection, and a willingness to place David’s well-being above personal advantage.

(3) Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.

Real love always influences actions. A person’s commitment is proven through their actions. This idea is repeatedly emphasized in the New Testament. Consider the first action Jonathan took because of his deep love for David: he made a covenant with him. The exact words of the covenant are not recorded, but we can infer it meant they would remain friends until death. Jonathan remained faithful to his promise, even when it was heavily tested. What does the covenant do? It guarantees the permanence of feelings at a given moment. It extends that commitment and helps the friendship deepen. It’s important to recognize that there is no suggestion of sexual attraction. The text shows what Jonathan did out of his profound friendship—he made a commitment. We are not allowed to interpret this as anything else, especially not as a homosexual relationship, which is considered a horrible perversion before God and man.

(4) And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, including his sword and his bow and his belt.”

Lastly, we see that Jonathan, because of their great friendship, took off his prized robe and gave it along with his personal armor to David, including his sword, bow, and belt. Again, we must remember that Jonathan did not have any hidden motives. He was committed only to treat David as himself because he loved him as himself. Later, as David would ride into battle, he would more often than not wear Jonathan’s own armor and sword. The friendship would continue despite the rivalry that would develop between King Saul, his father, and David. These verses are not meant to suggest David’s perversion. Not at all. Instead, they are carefully placed to help us understand how God was preparing David all along to work under Him as king and to secure his protection. Remember, David would be a type of the Messiah. Jesus trusted God’s protection during the time He was being hunted down. God similarly arranged all that protection for David because God was with him.

Conclusions on Friendships

Let us draw some conclusions about friendship.

Many people do not understand this kind of friendship. They have never experienced friendships that develop among young men and women of the same sex. It is a shame. This affection is built not on sexual attraction but on shared lives, visions, dreams, and experiences. They do everything they can to spend time together. One sees the other person as a vital part of their lives. Jonathan saw David this way. They both had a deep love and devotion to God, aiming to win outstanding battles for the Lord through faith.

Many of us never move beyond simple friendships based on exchanging benefits. There are hidden motives, known as phila love in Greek. Older people tend to become more cynical and are hindered by too many precautions from enjoying deep friendships. They are often too busy to have fun. Additionally, another factor that has undermined genuine relationships is pornographic films and scenes that depict fun relationships as always ending in bed. This reflects the West’s distorted view of friendship. Such portrayals lead to bribery, hatred, and have nothing to do with true friendship, as in this case.