The BFF Digital Libraries

Facebook BFFBFF is now on Facebook! Please visit and join us in releasing God's powerful Word to our generation!

God's peace can help us live above anxieties as we learn to trust in Him!

The Lord Your Healer: 

Discover Him and Find His Healing Touch by Paul J. Bucknell

Newest! The Lord Your Healer

Discover Him and Find His Healing Touch

First step of discipleship
revive devotions
Advanced Discipleship

The Bible Teaching Commentary on Genesis: The Book of Foundations

Commentaries that specialize on training the teacher!

Overcoming Anxiety: Finding Peace, Discovering God


Recovering Biblical Parenting from Secularism's Grasp

Secular Parenting vs. Biblical Parenting

Paul J. Bucknell

Sin and Cultural Standards
Recovering Biblical Parenting
Devastating Effects of Secular Parenting

Purpose: Show the excellency of biblical parenting over secular parenting by providing ten contrasts between them.

Crossing over from the secular mindset to the biblical mindset is like night and day, disharmony and peace.

Dicipline brings a world of difference into your lives. it is God's expression of His love for His children.

Below are two completely different ways of training a child. Secular teaching prides itself on a belief that that which is natural is good. They believe that parental involvement interferes with the 'good' of the child from developing.

Biblical teaching founds itself on the instruction of the Holy Scriptures which develops within the child a wonderful respect for both God and man. We make ten contrasts between secular and biblical teaching below.



Distorted Vision

There is no real vision of parenting. They think parenting comes natural. There is no good or bad parenting, they think, it just happens. Parents do not have any special responsibility of instruction. They can live their own lives apart from their children.

Biblical Vision

Parents are intricately involved in the training of their children. They teach, provide and guide their children into a good, godly and loving life style.

Human Core Values

Happiness, financial security, safety, self-esteem, success and other values dictate the way they train their children.

Biblical Core Values

Biblical values like love, faith, forgiveness, and joy dictate how parents train their children. Instruction on Christ's life and death is regularly communicated and lived out before their children.

Human Nature is Good

Man is resistant to change another because they are taught that a person will do better without any interference from his parents. Some go so far to instruct us that parental instruction interferes with the best interests of the children.

Human Nature is Corrupt

Man has a corrupt nature from birth that steers his life away from obedience to God. Man needs to be instructed, loved and chastised to be brought into conformity with God's law which was revealed for man's good.

Principles and Practices of Biblical Parenting
Take a look at our new book, Principles and Practices of Biblical Parenting: Raising Godly Children. Check out the BFF Resource Center for this book and many other helpful and relevant resources (308 pages).

Great for a Parenting Class!
Perfect for individual study!

Disrespect for Authority

The permissive crowd refuses to respect authority and rejects any attempt by others to train their children to respect them. Their children despise them. Grandparents try to love these very naughty children. Children are treated as an equal to the parent in authority.

Respect for Authority

Respect for authority is taught as the parents obey the Lord and then enforce the need for their children to obey and honor them. Children are not treated as an equal to the parent in authority; they do not have a vote. They are to obey their parents.

Word Rebuke

The parents try to use words to convince children to do what they think they should do. The results are always dismal. Tension and built up hatred exists between the parent and the child.

Physical Chastisement

Physical action is needed to help the child to properly accept the directives of the parents. Early on in life discipline is used so that later in life the right attitude of respect resides in the heart of the child.


The parent has lots of expectations but no way to help the child to reach them. The parents are very frustrated.


The parent knows how to train their expectations into their children so that they are polite and kind people.

Limiting Children

Children are desired and yet often get in the way of the goals of the parents. Children are supplementary and limited so that they can live more comfortably and predictably. Many believe limiting the number of children helps conserve the world's resources.

Increasing Children

The parents anticipate God's blessing for their family by giving them many children as He has promised. They live by faith in God who will provide for their children as well as the world's resources.

Conflict of Sex Roles

The husband and wife are confused to why he or she should do what the other person could easily do. A lot of extra tension causes tension between the parents and creates insecurity in the children.

Clear Understanding of Sex Roles

The husband and wife's clear understanding of their places in the family help bring clarity to the child as to his or her place.

Unresolved Conflict

The parents want to get along peaceably with their children but because of the amount of unresolved conflict, there is an actual war.

Resolved Conflict

The parents get along fine with their children so that by teen age years, their children are among their best of friends. No enmity exists because the conflicts have been fully resolved.

Expression of Feelings

The permissive parent believes that the expression of ones feelings brings healing. They are feeling oriented. In fact, saying, "You're angry" only masks the root problem.


The child is not taught by feelings but by the standards in God's Word. They are expected to speak kindly, humbly, and focused on the needs of others. Biblical standards are enforced on the outward until they are incorporated inside and bring about the needed self-control.

The left column might not be totally accepted by all secularists, but they are commonly found. This generation is noted by its toleration and permissive ideas popularized by Rouseau and the public educational system.

We should also understand that simply calling oneself a Christian doesn't make one share biblical values! Contrary to common thought, Christians need to be taught in God's ways so to be properly guided. We need to disciple our children.Dicipline brings a world of difference into your lives. it is God's expression of His love for His children.

Our job is to eliminate the effects of secular teaching upon our lives and adopt biblical teachings. The process might feel awkward at first but when one sees the results of biblical teaching, any awkwardness is thrown aside. God's way works wonders all the time! God's way is the natural way; it is the way that works in harmony with God's own moral government.

Once we have alerted ourselves to the secular mindset, we need to be convinced of the devastating effects of this mindset on our children and our relationship with our children, then we will be motivated to change. This will be the next step we need to take.


=> Next: The Devastating Effects of Secular Parenting

Scriptures typically quoted from the New American Standard Bible unless noted: (C) Copyright The Lockman Foundation 1988

Looking for Revival?