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God's peace can help us live above anxieties as we learn to trust in Him!

The Lord Your Healer: 

Discover Him and Find His Healing Touch by Paul J. Bucknell

Newest! The Lord Your Healer

Discover Him and Find His Healing Touch

First step of discipleship
revive devotions
Advanced Discipleship

The Bible Teaching Commentary on Genesis: The Book of Foundations

Commentaries that specialize on training the teacher!

Overcoming Anxiety: Finding Peace, Discovering God


Premarital advice: How to get married right!

How to Get Married Right

Premarital Advice

Paul J. Bucknell

Vision in Marriage: Making Plans for the Future

Decision: Discerning God's spouse for you
Preparation: Readying your heart
The Plan: Becoming a Christ-centered home
Team work: One heart and mind
The Vision: Making plans for the future



The Vision: Making Plans for the Future is the last part from the How to Get Married Right! series getting couples ready for marriage. We also need to plan ahead. We can be so busy with present matters that we give little thought of the ideal or projected home that we want to build. Present pressures and desires lure us into the wrong pathway. Keeping the final picture before us greatly helps us make the necessary decisions now to reach those plans.

The Vision: Making plans for the future

We find it very helpful when considering marriage to think where one wants to go. As one begins to answer this question, ask yourselves, "What is it that God wants for you as a family?"

You will find that you have different answers, and if not different answers, you will have different emphases. However, we will discover that many things which we think is so important now will not be that important later on.

Building a Great MarriagePurchase  the book 'Building a Greart Marriage or the Marriage Digital Library which includes the book!'You can order the Building a Great Marriage printed seminar materials including handouts at the BFF Resource Center.Or even better get the BFF Marriage Digital Library which includes all all our marriage articles including powerpoints, audios and videos.

We only have so much strength and time. We need to focus on what is good and lovely. We need to purpose ourselves to do God's will. In most cases, God wants to develop a big family. God emphasizes this in a number of places.

Unfortunately, family planning practices that are propagated today are not at all trying to understand what God wants. They largely stem from three kinds of people:

(1) Those who are trying to limit the wrong people from being born,

(2) Those who believe that man is ruining the earth, and

(3) Those who think children are too expensive and interfere with their preferred lifestyle.

The Christian church has got involved in this affair with the world. They do not think of their families with a sense of priority but only their careers and wealth. How unfortunate! They see birth control and even abortion in some cases as a means to get where they want to go. They have their goals clearly guiding them. But they are not God's goals of building a godly family.

God wants big families for the most part. Even after the flood, God tells Noah to multiply and fill the earth. People joke that the earth is already full, but it hardly is. People no longer believe God can care for lots of people. God designed it so that it could care for a great multitude. This is God's goal. Just think, do you honestly believe it is right for others to have many children who are brought up in different religions and beliefs while Christians limit themselves to one or two? Is this God's goal?

Of course, God is not just interested in lots of children. He is interested in godly children. Parents must put their toys away and get serious in this task of raising godly children. It has nothing to do with the children but everything to do with what the parents do. Don't believe what you hear! We are not to raise children to make decisions for themselves! We are to raise children to submit to authority and listen to the guidance of parents and God's Word.

If the wife has a career. She should give it up. If she insists on maintaining a career, then she should honestly ask if she really should get married. We have to think down the road as to the implications of our decisions.

It is wrong to avoid having children so to carry on one's career. Nor is it right for women to have children but have their heart elsewhere. Women are not being properly trained for their place as wife and mother in our Western culture and so the culture on a family to family basis or as a whole is dying.

Resentment will build up and the children will not feel loved. Feminism has confused many a Christian woman. It is time these same women would arise and live by God's Word.

"An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,
But she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones"
(Proverbs 12:4, NASB).

The man, too, must catch the vision of leading the family and not just follow along. The problem is that often he just ignores the wife and family and continues on with his career. He thinks that his job is to make money. We see nothing like this in the Bible. Read Proverbs 1-4, and one will see how the father counseled the son.

Read Deuteronomy 6 and see the responsibility to carefully shepherd his children. If we are going to raise godly children, we need to make those right commitments in our soul.

God's will is to take God's Word and wrestle it into ones soul until one has no other passion than to do our Father's will. Holiness requires a separation from our culture where its evil tentacles have lurched onto us. We must repent and prioritize God's will and way. This alone is considered worship.

We have covered five areas that need to be focused on. Many other things can be discussed. We hope that you have a pastor take you through premarital counseling. Other resources to consider.

1) Read and discuss together: Family, God's Weapon for Victory by Robert Andrews (Winepress).

2) Attend Institute Basic Life Principles Seminar, Basic and Advanced. These seminars provide excellent opportunities to discuss and examine how to form basic life principles upon which to build one's life. Excellent presentations.

3) Check out our Marriage Navigator page for many more articles.

This concludes the series here. Click here for the introductory page or below for other resources.

Read more exciting and practical articles on marriage. Just click on a link or graphic below.

Developing Love in Your Marriage
Strengthening Godly Marriages: The Marriage Navigator
Renewing Affections between Husband and Wife
God's Sexual Design for Our Lives and Marriages
Goal and Design of Marriage: Intimacy
Helping Solve Marital Problems