Regaining the Hearts of Your Teens
– Discovering the Root Problems (Part 1) –
Paul J. Bucknell

This is part 5/5 of "Not Too Late to Reach your Teens (Problems #1)." It provides an illustration of delinquent youths from the scripture and enhances one's reflections in "Discovering the Root Problems" of "Regaining the Hearts of Your Teens."

Problems (Part 1): Family Problems | Solutions | Problem #1 | Problem #2 | Delinquency
Solutions (Part 2): Barriers | Let’s Solve it! | Confession | Steps of Love | New relationship

A Case Study on Delinquent Youth

2 Samuel 12- 18

The Bible has much to say on numerous matters including this topic of raising delinquent youths. David did not rightly treat his son Absalom.

Two issues were at work. Absalom deeply resented David’s unwillingness to carry out justice when another son raped his half-sister (Absalom’s sister). There is no doubt that David’s fame further heated up this anger. David did not like people praising a Dad who really didn't deserve it. Absalom grew to despise his father and thought he could carry out justice better than David.

A second problem seems to be that David was unwilling to restrain Absalom when he made wrong and inappropriate decisions that hurt others. He neglected discipline. Was it because of Absalom’s clever speech and handsome stature? We are not sure. But when Absalom’s half-sister was raped, King David stood by as a weak-willed father. Absalom’s hatred for his father grew as time went on.

Many years later this would lead to a calculated plot to overthrow his father. What an irony! He couldn’t stand the father who so greatly loved him. How can a parent seem to love a child so much but then treat him so poorly?

This is what happens with delinquents. They are not governed. It happened with David, and it can happen with us. Once standards are put aside because of favoritism or some unresolved personal problems (this was David’s guilt problem (2 Samuel 12)), then we too will mistreat our children and unknowingly lead them in the way of rebellion.

“O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom!

If we are not careful, we will like David weep with for that wayward child, “O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son!” (2 Samuel 18:33). Things could have been so different!

we have looked at the first part on Regaining the Heart of Your Child. We have focused on understanding the root of the problem. Now we can turn to the second part where we study the solutions. Next =>

Problems (Part 1): Family Problems | Solutions | Problem #1 | Problem #2 | Delinquency

Solutions (Part 2): Barriers | Let’s Solve it! | Confession | Steps of Love | New relationship

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Biblical Foundations for Freedom

Paul J. Bucknell

Parenting Seminar Parenting Perspectives Parenting Challenges

Biblical Parenting Principles provides helpful teaching on forming a godly family. This series provides good reading material with handouts and diagrams.

#1 The Goals of Parenting (Spanish)
Understand the key role God's goals for the family have in shaping godly children.
#2 One Great Team: Dad & Mom
The responsibility, need and ability for husbands to work along with their wives as teammates in order to produce godly children.
#3 Parental Authority
Understand the parents' responsibility to govern their children and to properly put it in effect in the home.

Principles & Practices of Biblical Parenting

#4 Developing Self-Control in our Children
The need and means of cultivating self-control in our children from an early age in order that they may please God and focus on serving others.
#5 Child Training & Routines
Enable parents to understand, use and create effective routines to further the training of toddlers and older children.
#6 Correcting Your Children
Properly deal with disobedient children so that they might become joyful family members.
#7 Discipline & Use of Rod
A scriptural perspective of discipline and ways to properly administer the rod.
#8 Setting Boundaries
Set up, implement and maintain proper and effective boundaries for our children.
#9 Raising Godly Children
Applying biblical principles to provide proper spiritual care for our children.
#10 Developing Intergenerational Love
Enable parents to show God's love and truth to their own parents and in-laws during visits with each other.
#11 Restoring Older Children

Even though we have made mistakes, we must not give up on our teens and older children. Lots of advice stemming from biblical principles are given to enable you to restore your children to your loving authority.

Check out our Famly Library for all our resources!

Harmony in Parenting – Discipline
The need and process of harmony among parents is well illustrated. Special focus is given on the area of discipline.

Fathers Learn Effective Leadership
Fathers, improve your leadership! Learn from God's example what to do when those under your authority do not obey.

Index: Godly Beginnings for the Family

Godly Beginnings for the Family series helps parents start right: filled with lots of practical advice for prebirth, birth and postbirth accompanied with reading, handouts and clear illustrations on early training. Check above for downloads.

Godly Beginnings for the Family

#1 Family Commitment
Making a commitment to raising godly children helps parents and children to withstand the influences of this evil generation.
#2 Family Foundations
   Family Planning
   Husband-Wife Roles
Start right; end right! Shows how greatly our decisions and assumptions impact our parenting.
God's Family Health Plan
Once we start looking at the scriptures, we are astounded how much God speaks about our health. God really does care for us. We need only to obey.
#4 Preparations for Childbirth
Childbirth is a miracle. Now if we would only stop interfering with God's ways our births would be better and easier.
#5 Tender Newborn Care
Care for the mother and child afterbirth is important. Detailed suggestions as well as routines are provided for both Mom and baby.
#6 The Challenge of Child Training
Now that we have the child, how do we effectively train up a godly child? Start young!
#7 Disciplining and Training Small Children
Come discover how to properly use discipline in the training of your young children.
#8 Setting up Godly Routines for Young Children
Routines is our key to building training into a child's life. It works with one or ten children.

Discipling Children in Anger
Instructive charts on how one can stop correcting children in anger.

Setting Television Standards
Set standards on watching movies by reflecting on Indiana Jones and Psalm 36.

Priorities for Family and Life
This chart shows the overall perspective on life and how family fits into it.

Connecting Love with Discipline - Discover why love requires discipline -Hebrews 12.

Discipling your sons: The why and way
Should a father disciple his sons? How does he go about it?

Having a great marriage is the best start for being good parents. See our Marriage Navigator for more than 60 articles on marriage!

Is Birth Control Christian?
Shows how to understand Genesis 1:28 in our modern society.

Recovering Biblical Parenting
Ten differences between secular and biblical parenting are clearly outlined and discussed.

Can my son wearing earrings?
Clear teaching on how to set godly standards in a changing culture.

Decay in society
The decay in society is clearly outlined in a chart in three stages from Romans 1:18-32.

The Moral Slide of Sin
Filled with charts depicting the connection between cultural and personal decay.

Personal Impact
This chart from Galatians 6:7-8 reminds us of the personal impact of each family member on the whole.

Parents' Impact on their Children
This chart from Exodus 20:5-6 shows the tremendous influence parents have on their children and following generations.

Devastating Effects of Secular Parenting
The terrible effects of secular parenting practices are seen in the results.

Passing On a Love for God
See David's intense love for God and the people pass on to Solomon's life through the two appearances of God to him.

Need of Parental Love
The dynamics of love and its effect on our children.

Theology of the Family
A Biblical framework for the family shows how the family institution fits into God's overall plan.

Building Respect for Authority
Parenting has a great impact on children. Look how a gifted child can go wrong by spoiling them. Understand more on the importance of disciplining our children.