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Four designs
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Escaping homosexuality
Homosexual tendencies
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God's Sexual Design for our Lives

#2 A Blended Design: Marriage


What about homosexual tendencies?

What about homosexual tendencies?
Some people say they are not practicing homosexuals, but that they have homosexual tendencies. They mean by this that they do not get involved in physical relationships but that they still share those same sexual desires.

One person wrote mentioning that the tendency to sexually prefer those of the same sex is not a sin but only a temptation.

It depends on what is meant by 'tendencies.' My original definition of 'tendency' described those who though refrained from physical relationships still nurtured thoughts about sexual relationships. The tendency to allow sexual desires for those of the same sex to guide one's thoughts is wrong.

If, however, one does not accept such thoughts as proper but rejects them, then this kind of 'tendency' is merely a temptation. Temptation becomes sin the moment we 'own' the sexual desire. If we hold the thought, then it becomes our own, and we will favorably respond toward it. In this case, being sexually aware of someone of the same sex is not wrong.

One crosses the threshold when one responds favorably to that enticing thought of being sexually close to that person. Those sexual desires for that person then have become his (or her) own.

Check out the podcast on temptation!

We need to go back to God's Word and see what the Lord has said about this. Actually, there are several issues to deal with.

(1) Sexual design

The first is a person's view of sexual design. What does one think about his own sexuality? Can you accept your sexual makeup? Can you be grateful for it? More than likely, if you have problems with homosexual tendencies, then you have problems with who you are. This confusion most often is derived by a father who has poorly led or abandoned the family so that the wife rules. God never made the woman to rule but to support. Because of this reversal of roles, confusion sets in. Review section #1 where these issues are dealt with in greater coverage.

(2) Design of Marriage

Secondly, one has to understand the real design of marriage. Do not assume one naturally has the right view of marriage. This is where our bringing up often becomes a distorted context for learning about marriage and our sexual roles. Although you might feel or sense your view is perfectly okay, this does not mean it is right or good. If one is a practicing homosexual, one should recognize that he or she greatly differs with what God has established marriage to be. Again, you might feel it is okay, but from God's point of view these homosexual thoughts and actions are very unnatural.

Any thoughts or expressions of unnatural affection must be repented of. I would suggest go back to the beginning of this section and keep working through this section to its end where the reason God is so sold on His own design.

  • Steps to Restoration include:
    Making peace with God (repentance). When we trust Christ, we find a forgiveness for all of our sins no matter how terrible they are.

    Desire for God's will
      1) appreciation of the gender God gave you;
      2) appreciation for those of the other sex.

    Think about your parents' fulfillment of their roles. Was your father a good leader and protector of the home? Did your Mom usurp your Dad's role? Ask God for wisdom to understand the problems. You no doubt will find resentment and bitterness in your heart. You need to ask for forgiveness of these sins.

    Break from any movies, books, magazines, sites, friends that foster a positive attitude toward homosexuality.

    Spend time meditating on God's Word pleading for light. He will take you on a journey of delivery. It is day by day. Like any other wrong bent, it often takes a long time to be straightened out. But be sold on God's plan and timing. Anticipate God's help through this time.

    Reject false thinking. Do not accept those who say this homosexual tendency is okay or natural. When we allow these questions to linger in our mind, they produce doubt which will certainly lead to a lack of confidence. Here are two viewpoints that have caused many to hold back from running to the end.
  • 1) Some will say it is because of body chemistry. There is no proof to their assertion or assumptions. From God's Word we understand that faulty thoughts which have led to wrong behaviors could possibly affect one's body chemistry. The solution is to change our thoughts. Our chemistry will straighten out in time by God's grace. We need time to restructure how we respond to such thoughts.

  • 2) Others will reason that it is okay to have such tendencies because they do not hurt others. You do not go all the way. But as long as you are not fitting in with God's design, then you are living in rebellion. The Bible message again and again says that deceit comes from a rebellious heart. The solution is to correct your thoughts, straighten out your life with God and with others.

What about those who profess to be Christian homosexuals?
If an apology helps, let me as a Christian state this:

"I regret from the deepest part of my heart that there are some who would claim to be at one with God through Christ and yet show their love for what God considers so vile and evil. I am sorry any confusion and pain they might have brought you."

I share the Word of God with you because it the source of restoration. Sodomy proponents unfortunately speak clearly against the foundations that have been developed by God. We need to keep going back to the truth: God did not make us this way.

If you have been hurt by such a person, realize you are not to take personal revenge. God will care for that. God does not speak of such people as His own. Instead He promises judgment on those who "do not know God and to those who do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus" (2 Thessalonians 1:8).