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Paul J. Bucknell
Purpose: Godly marriages and families don’t come by accident! Couples need to learn WHAT kind of marriage they are seeking and HOW to form priorities to gain those godly families. Gaining Further Biblical Perspective of Marriage: Part 7/9 of Setting Priorities for Godly Marriages
Now let us look at a few Bible verses and perhaps add a few things to our list. Husbands or wives will look at different passages to glean important truths for their own responsibilities.
“That they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored.” (Titus 2:4-5).
“An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, uncontentious, free from the love of money. He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?)” (1 Timothy 3:2-5).
So what are some priorities that the Lord gives to husbands and wives?
Our point is not to provide a thorough list of priorities but only to acquaint you with some Biblical instruction on what is needed to obtain a very good marriage. With these things, a good marriage is near at hand. Without it, you are far off course. You no doubt will feel struggles and challenges at some points. That is natural. You need to go back and identify that instilled thinking, often developed in one’s childhood, reject its worldliness and make God’s way your own.
Let me make an observation to help you think it through. If you come from a society that portrays the ideal wife as one that works outside the home, you will probably adopt that thinking. But verses like the ones above might make you feel uncomfortable. Please do not just dismiss God’s Word as unimportant. Understand this competition for your allegiance. You need to see why the society thinks a certain way and why God who best understands you would guide you otherwise. This is what I meant to go deeper.
Priorities touch heart issues. Some of you might react. I understand. But do not be threatened. God greatly loves you and is leading you to a very good marriage and life. These things take time. The sooner you face them the better. In this particular case, it might be helpful to keep Proverbs 31 in mind. No one is speaking about ignorant or incapable wives. The opposite is true. The issue is on priority.
We do not say this lightly. We have gone through very serious financial times even with 7 and 8 children. Our foundational value is for me as husband to provide. If finances are very limited, we just cut back as needed. We do not even think about Linda working. Many would consider that alternative.
We just believed God to provide for us in these circumstances and He did– just barely though. But the point is we did get by. This was His priority and ours, and it became for us a backbone of faith in God in our very trying circumstances, rather than thinking she ought to find a job somewhere.
Think through these priorities. What kind of values are needed to carry them out? What kind of priority and grace do we need to carry them out?