The Big Race

Joining in
What is the race like?
Can I make it?
Does it really matter?

Getting Ready
Getting in Shape
Your Trainers
Distance Training
Course Overview

Crossing the Line
Readying the Mind
Mastering the Course
Deciding to Win
Feel for winning
Building blocks
Design of marriage
Relevance of marrriage
Life changing truths
1) Loving or lusting
Choice of love
Fulfillment problems
Sources of love
Questions of love
Overcoming lusts
2) Filled or empty
Finding fulfillment
Problems of fulfillment
Sources of fulfillment
Questions of fulfillment
3) Security or loneliness
Choosing security
Overcoming loneliness
Clarifying our destination

Our Battle Plan

Running the Race
Gaining stamina
Overcoming hurdles
Roadside cheer
Feeling overwhelmed
Thoughts controlled!

BFF Homepage




1) Unconditional love

The two choices
The choice of love
Problems of fulfillment
Sources of love
Questions of love

Love overcomes lusts

What about the guy? How is he going to get fulfilled?
The question in long form is, "What if a husband devotedly loves his wife, and she simply doesn't fulfill his needs?"
There are at least three different questions behind this question.

1) Am I expected to fulfill another if I am not fulfilled by them?
There is fear that the man will face a totally barren life if all he does is love and is not loved back. Perhaps in his worse moments he would even go further in his thinking,

"God would not create such a terribly miserable situation,
and if He by any chance does, I'm not going to be part of it."

When a person asks this question, he more than likely has a problem of belief, commitment and selfishness.

    • Belief:
      • He doesn't believe God's ways are ultimately best in spite of what circumstances he finds himself.
    • Commitment:
      • Because of his doubt, he holds back on his commitment.
    • Selfishness:
      • Because he can not be sure of God's love and help, he uses his 'love' as a means of getting loveback (this of course then is not love at all!)

      As long as we demand fulfillment,
      we will never receive it!
Lust and fear or love and faith. 2) Can I actually love if I am not being loved?
Fear from the world of psychology is instilled in those who suffer modern education. This view strongly states that if our basic needs are not being met, then we cannot love another. This kind of 'mental' reservations hold men back from loving. They become easy excuses. Although the observations behind this seem to make sense, they go quite contrary to God's rule. The reason is this.

Men are designed to give. Husbands are made to give of themselves in love. If you do not step ahead in faith to love, then you will step back in fear to lust. The command in the Bible for husbands to love their wives is to overrule any of his fears. If we fear God more than other things, then we will obey God even if we have doubts and unknowns about our particular circumstances.

3) Can my love hold out?
There is another fear which is more earnest. There is a real question as to whether a husband will be able to hold out in persistent love if he does not get any encouragement back from his wife. This person wants to have this kind of love but not sure he has all that he needs. This question is good in the sense it reminds us that our wife is not the source of this love. She might make our experience of loving her more exciting and enthralling, but once she becomes the source of love, then know for sure it is short-lived. People will always disappoint us. Perhaps the real question is whether we can be sure of sufficient wisdom, strength and love from God to meet the needs of the kinds of people we are expected to love.

Read on for the sources of this enduring love. =>