The Big Race

Joining in
What is the race like?
Can I make it?
Does it really matter?

Getting Ready
Getting in Shape
Your Trainers
Distance Training
Course Overview

Crossing the Line
Readying the Mind
Mastering the Course
Deciding to Win
Feel for winning
Building blocks
Design of marriage
Relevance of marriage
Life changing truths
1) Loving or lusting
Choice of love
Fulfillment problems
Sources of love
Questions of love
Overcoming lusts
2) Filled or empty
Finding fulfillment
Problems of fulfillment
Sources of fulfillment
Questions of fulfillment
3) Security or loneliness
Choosing security
Overcoming loneliness
Clarifying our destination

Our Battle Plan

Running the Race
Gaining stamina
Overcoming hurdles
Roadside cheer
Feeling overwhelmed
Thoughts controlled!

BFF Homepage




2) Inner Fulfillment

Inner fulfillment
The two choices
The choice of fulfillment
Finding fulfillment
Sources of fulfillment
Questions of fulfillment

Overcoming lusts


What if the wife is not loved by her husband?
If a wife does not have this perfect love from her husband, she is still responsible to respect and submit to him. How is she able to do this? She is able to give forth this steady flow of love to her husband through the way God meets her deepest needs. When God satisfies the deepest part of our lives, then our most deep and basic needs are cared for. We then have strength to love the unlovely. We can trust Him for divine love and humility to fill our hearts.

Some wives might wonder about abuse. "How did these women like Sarah do it?!
We might be tempted to say things like, "Maybe Abraham wasn't as bad as my husband!" Maybe we should first clarify that Abraham was the one who protected his own skin by telling the king that she was only his sister. Abraham was the one who took another woman to have a child. Sarah faced confusing times when her husband Abraham made some moral compromises in life. We will try to thoroughly answer this question.

We should first ask, "Do you know of any wives who take control over the home from their husband's hands that have good marriages and families?" From what we see in life and read in God's Word, good marriages cannot come from breaking these life truths that we have been discussing. Then our only alternative is to try to understand God's ways.

There is no doubt that those who suffer under difficult situations need extra grace to endure. We understand that many marriages are real bad. We would expect God to change His commands when the husband becomes uncaring. But God hasn't. But why? The reason God does not change His policies when the husband asks difficult things from his wife is because God wants to enter these desperate situations and restore them. Under the great pressure of criticism and self-indulgence, the whole financial stability of the house might be loss. God says that is okay. There is something more important here that has not yet been learned. God wants to preserve and restore marriages.

Crying out to God for help in our great weakness is one of the greatest themes across the pages of the holy scriptures. How many times does the scripture speak of help coming to those who cry out to God for help?! Page after page records such situations. We might say God specializes in helping people through crises. God created oppression for the Israelites when they went to Egypt. God wanted them under tremendous difficulties so that they could see His great saving hand. There are many reasons for the unhappy marriages today. But God specializes in restoring them. He restores our marriages and lives by bringing us back to His great design.

God's love to His vulnerable people are similar to the vulnerability the wife has before an oppressive husband. The oppression of God's people by the world is parallel to that of a wife by her husband. Perhaps by seeing how God works with His people in desperate situations will help wives understand how He will help them in most difficult circumstances. We need to examine two parallel statements.
#1 An oppressed wife
#2 God's oppressed people
God's love or power is not diminished when a wife is being emotionally or otherwise hurt by a senseless husband. Right now there are many hurting wives.
God's love or power is not diminished when God allows His own people, His bride, at different times to suffer from oppression. Right now I know of two Christian villages in one country that were invaded and taken possession by a greater number of people from a different religion. They lost everything including many lives. They are in a very desperate situation.
We assume God would not allow such things to occur but He does for a time. Justice will come in time. But these times of oppression are allowed for special activities of God to occur. We are not trying to say God does the evil itself. God is not that cruel husband. However, He does allow it to happen and works through its difficulties. God notices very carefully all His people who suffer and will take proper action and revenge. God is greater than evil by incorporating it into His glorious eternal plan.

"And when He broke the fifth seal,
I saw underneath the altar the souls of those who had been slain because of the word of God,
and because of the testimony which they had maintained;
and they cried out with a loud voice, saying,
"How long, O Lord, holy and true, wilt Thou refrain from judging and avenging
our blood on those who dwell on the earth?
And there was given to each of them a white robe;
and they were told that they should rest for a little while longer,
until the number of their fellow servants and their brethren who were to be killed even as they had been,
should be completed also."
(Revelation 6:9-11, NASB).

Here are some actual examples of suffering from the Bible.
  • God allowed His own Son to suffer. He never did any wrong. Read the ends of the four Gospels.
  • God allowed the early church, Jews and non-Jews to suffer.
    "And Saul was in hearty agreement with putting him to death. And on that day a great persecution arose against the church in Jerusalem; and they were all scattered...." (Acts 8:12)
    "Therefore, we ourselves speak proudly of you among the churches of God for your perseverance and faith in the midst of all your persecutions and afflictions which you endure." (2 Thessalonians 1:4, NASB).

Vulnerability and abuse are not times to give up on God's love. God's love never stops even in the midst of persecution. God works through the crisis to display His great power. He enables His people to bear up under great pain and love when being hated. This is the greatness of those who respond to His love in difficult circumstances. We are filled when we trust Him.

God's love is so awesome that it is sufficient for our every circumstance. We might be perplexed and sometimes hurt, but the Lord is watching over us very carefully. But when we can submit to His love in these situations, great testimony goes forward. This is the response of sacrificial love. These statements should never be seen to excuse a man's irresponsible treatment of his wife or the world's oppression of a weak people. But just as a husband's love must endure a mean wife, so a wife must endure her foolish husband. (There is a place of divorce for adultery, but this is spoken of elsewhere.) A wife can not say she will be responsive at certain times and hardened at other times. No. God's love is always to be embraced, even if it means terrible circumstances such as financial losses.