The Big Race

Joining in
What is the race like?
Can I make it?
Does it really matter?

Getting Ready
Getting in Shape
Your Trainers
Distance Training
Course Overview

Crossing the Line
Readying the Mind
Mastering the Course
Deciding to Win
Feel for winning
Building blocks
Design of marriage
Relevance of marrriage
Life changing truths
1) Loving or lusting
Choice of love
Fulfillment problems
Sources of love
Questions of love
Overcoming lusts
2) Filled or empty
Finding fulfillment
Problems of fulfillment
Sources of fulfillment
Questions of fulfillment
3) Security or loneliness
Choosing security
Overcoming loneliness
Clarifying our destination

Our Battle Plan

Running the Race
Gaining stamina
Overcoming hurdles
Roadside cheer
Feeling overwhelmed
Thoughts controlled!

BFF Homepage




2) Inner Fulfillment

The two choices
The choice of fulfillment
Problems of fulfillment
Sources of fulfillment
Questions of Fulfillment

Overcoming lusts


Fulfillment and selfishness
When speaking of letting love fill our lives, some might wonder whether one will get extremely selfish by focusing on one's own fulfillment. We do not fully understand what God's love really does to our lives. We have spoken before that once God's love touches our lives, we imitate His love. The proper response to God's love is to love. We are forced to question what a person knows about God's love if he is not motivated to love God and others.
Fulfillment and submission
Submission is considered an oppressive word today. It is true that the wife is asked to submit to her husband. But this is to help the wife not to hurt her. Her wayward desires would lead her away from that intimate relationship with her husband.

"Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord."
(Colossians 3:18, NASB)

When this respect is asked from the wife, God's intention is to put the marriage in the best footing possible. In other words, even if the wife does not trust in her husband, she needs to go by his judgment. The command helps her do the best thing possible even when she does not feel like it. By thus responding, she creates a void for the husband's love to fill. And so the man will be encouraged to take up his care for his wife and home. In contrast to what many are saying, the submission enhances the relationship between the husband and wife. God designed it this way.

Fulfillment and Rebellion
The reason that many reject the wife's need to submit to her husband is to protect both herself and her children. The scriptures give a whole different reason for our willingness to excuse unsubmissiveness. This does not deny that abuse has happened. We are too familiar with this. However, our solutions will lead us off course if we don't face the real reason women reject God's command. God says the reason for a wife's unsubmissive heart is her inner rebellion against God's calling in her life.

"When the woman saw that the tree was good for food,
and that it was a delight to the eyes,
and that the tree was desirable to make [one] wise,
she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate."
(Genesis 3:6, NASB)

The woman was tempted at her vulnerable point. She was designed to respond to her husband's leadership. Instead she disobeyed her husband's directives. She then got caught up with what seemed to become more important and delightful. Later on God simply acknowledges that this desire to lead will continually be challenged with the husband's dominance.

" To the woman He said,
"I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth,
In pain you shall bring forth children;
Yet your desire shall be for your husband,
And he shall rule over you.""
(Genesis 3:16, NASB)

This aggressive desire of a wife to rule over her husband thwarts her design. This is not to deny any giftings or abilities that she has. The Lord has designed her gifts best to function in complement to her husband's leadership. The problem is essentially this. As long as the wife is encouraged not to submit, then her marriage and family situation will deteriorate. She will receive less love and support from her husband. God's design for her is found in His commandment. Obedience produces the best situation possible –not the worse as alleged! Fulfillment comes from submissiveness not from aggressive leadership in the home.

Fulfillment and vulnerability
We have probably all seen a family destroyed by a husband's foolish behavior whether it be alcholism, drugs, quest for fame or plain immorality. We agree that the husband's love is not perfect on earth. But this does not mean the wife is excused from submission. In these cases, the wife will need to put her trust in God to care for her and her family's needs.

"In the same way, you wives,
be submissive to your own husbands
so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word,
they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,
as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior."
(1 Peter 3:1-2, NASB).

By trusting God and being a faithful wife, she in fact is responding to God's great love and mercy. This hope in God becomes a powerful tool to bring forth extra grace and love from God. The same principle is used for those who are being mistreated by others because of what right things they are doing. They are to keep doing right and trust God. (Read the rest of I Peter chapter 3).