The Big Race

Joining in
What is the race like?
Can I make it?
Does it really matter?

Getting Ready
Getting in Shape
Your Trainers
Distance Training
Course Overview

Crossing the Line
Readying the Mind
Mastering the Course
Deciding to Win
Feel for winning
Building blocks
Design of marriage
Relevance of marrriage
Life changing truths
1) Loving or lusting
Choice of love
Fulfillment problems
Sources of love
Questions of love
Overcoming lusts
2) Filled or empty
Finding fulfillment
Problems of fulfillment
Sources of fulfillment
Questions of fulfillment
3) Security or loneliness
Choosing security
Overcoming loneliness
Clarifying our destination

Our Battle Plan

Running the Race
Gaining stamina
Overcoming hurdles
Roadside cheer
Feeling overwhelmed
Thoughts controlled!

BFF Homepage




1) Unconditional love

The two choices
The choice of love
Problems of fulfillment
Sources of love
Questions of love

Love overcomes lusts

How does this relate to overcoming our lusts?

In the end, the choice is between love or lust or more clearly, God or self. Marriage has helped flesh out what kind of love we need to fight this war with lusts. If we love, we will not lust. We will not like our lusts. We will be repulsed by its hideousness. However, if we neglect to choose love and the source of love – God, we will default to lusts.

The lusts might not seem to be as bad as they previously were. We might think good of ourselves because of this improvement. However it might seemed improved, think not much of it, unless you have started loving. A little less porno is not good enough! We do not look for improvements but erradication. Improvements can lull you into dangerous waters.

Choosing to love is a choice by God and for God. We absolutely cannot love as God has designed us without Him being our source. He has designed for us to function this way. A choice to love is a choice to call upon God in His great and abundant mercies to seize our hearts with a selfless passion like His. Can there be a greater decision than to take our greatest joy in imitating God's love in this desperate world.

When we love, let it be known there is no room for lusts.
But equally so, if we lust, then there is no love.

If we are going to run the race, then let us run to win. We need a picture of what it means when we cross that line. The Lord will come up to us and say, "Good and faithful son. Well done!" We will be able to flash back through our lives to the times when we threw away our idols of pleasure and burnt them in a sacrifice of self. We pledged ourselves to live according to His design for our lives no matter what the cost.

Sacrifice self and pleasure
Any real and holy love for our wives must begin before we get married in anticipation to give one's whole self to her. Teenage years must be used to master self-control. She must know that she is special. The more vibrant this pre-marriage purity, the easier the 'distrust meltdown' will come about. This assurance will follow through a lifelong quest to devotedly please and care for her. Even if a person does not marry, his sexual purity is a choice to love God and others instead of himself. He makes the calculated decision to spread forth God's amazing and powerful love through this world . I choose to love. Do you?

Shine His love A husband's pledge

God has made me to love you my wife, truly and unselfishly. He has designed me so that every part of me can fully devote itself to you. I want your wedding dreams of that one man who would always and only love you indeed come true. I am that faithful man for you. At the very end of my earthly life, the Lord will know that I have been pure in my desire to wholly love you both before and during marriage. In faith I want to test the very foundational principles God has implanted in this universe when He made it. My mission will be to love you my wife as Christ has loved the church. God has called me to brightly shine the torch of His love in your life. Whether in poverty or wealth, young or old, in health or sickness, I am determined to love you. Whether you, my dear, will be able to accept my love doesn't matter. I will constantly love you. I want my love for you to reflect Christ's love for His people. True love brings birth to great hopes.

Is there anything greater to live for?
Is there any more nobler war to fight?
Any better race to win? No.

I was so designed to run, and by God's grace and love,
I will run the race of sexual purity for God and you.
My all for you, my love.

A prayer of the husband
I declare a holy war against my lusts. I have chosen the sure weapon of God's enduring love. I have been designed to love. Away with the infernal selfish pleasure that betrays my loyalty to my God and wife! Away with each thought that would lead me into its condemned and greedy claws! Your time is gone.

I choose to love a pure love. I choose to live with a holy focus on my wife. I want with my love to penetrate the dark doors of death and confusion. With my constant and dedicated commitment to my wife I want to strip away all the fears that have been laid on her poor soul.

God fill me with your Spirit. Cleanse my soul of sin for your calling is high and lofty. Grant that I may live fully devoted to my specially chosen woman. I have only one wife. I want only one wife. By your divine grace and example, I will give her and her only my constant care.

And now, Lord I ask that you would protect what is so great and beautiful. Lift up what is glorious so that hope, joy and love can again touch our miserable hearts. Let me join this race to run for your glory and nothing else. Lead me Lord with your precious example into a constant and flowing river of giving acts toward my wife. Purity. Loyalty. Responsibility. By the grace and blood of Christ, God's only Son. Amen.